Book Review: Stay Sexy & Don’t Get Murdered

If you have listened to a podcast in the last five years then you’ve probably heard of My Favorite Murder by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark…if you haven’t then you’ve somehow missed the recent true crime boom and are one of those strange people who can exist free of fear at every possible thing that can bring about an untimely death.

I’m not one of those people and I’m scared of leaving my house whilst simultaneously being scared of being inside my house because death can come to us at any moment.

As you can tell, I’m a very light and breezy person and I’ve been this way since I first watched an episode of Crimewatch as a child and learned that not only does crime happen as often (I had seen the news) but it happens SO often that sometimes the BBC had to put on a special TV show just to showcase all the crimes they needed help with that week. One of my schoolmates was in a Crimewatch reenactment once and I think he was either mugged or stabbed, he no longer acts and I think he may have become a priest but that’s just Catholic school for you.

I’m a true crime podcast listener since I discovered the genre and MFM was one of my holy grail regular downloads for years but in lockdown my podcast habits have changed and I like to binge episodes for a week straight. As I said I’m a true crime listener, I’m not much of a true crime reader. I find it quite hard to read true crime as it forces you to conjure up images in a way that listening does not and it just isn’t a pleasant experience for me to imagine real life suffering like that.

Thankfully, SSDGM is not a true crime book but rather a memoir for these two true crime podcast hosts. I think that what Karen and Georgia have done for podcasting, women in podcasting and touring entertainers is fantastic, because of their show I have found others and seen Redhanded live (missed out on MFM tickets when they were in Manchester but did get to see those ladies talk about Ed Kemper) and also share them with my friends. MFM has always been a podcast that shares a lot with listeners, either their own stories or those of their listeners and that is what they do in this book.

A few moments in this did make me tear up. Karen has talked about her mother on the podcast and shared her experience of growing up and then seeing Alzheimer’s impacting her mother as she aged, something I know from experience is horrific as the person you knew changes so dramatically but still remains the person you love even if they don’t recognise you at times. Both Karen and Georgia discuss their experiences with addiction and unhealthy lifestyles/behaviour in a way that does not glamourise but instead accepts that this is a normal and common reality for many and that you can still be happy.

Their happiness was on its way not just because they started a podcast (but if you want a bookish podcast then look no further than Reading Between The Spines *winkwink* we’re recording this week), but because they decided to pursue happier endeavours and not waste away in a job that they hated or a cycle of boredom. I’m currently waiting on a visa (still suspended due to there being a global pandemic that is QUITE bad in the UK but our numbers are going down due to this new lockdown so fingers crossed!!) but once that comes I’m so excited to do something new and completely different. I do find it incredibly inspiring that both of these women have grown through such difficult times and although they still experience hardships at times, they’ve been a highlight of many peoples days including my own.

I’m grateful to Karen and Georgia for the podcast and for the hours that I’ve spent listening to them, reading this was quite emotional and I would recommend it to any listener – as long as they remember to Stay Sexy and Don’t Get Murdered. Also lock your fucking door.

You can find me on social media on Instagram @booksforbecca and nowhere else because I have private accounts due to the fact that I’m not famous!

Book Review: Pretty Girls by Karin Slaughter

I had heard a lot about this book before I picked it up and thought that maybe it had been overhyped or exaggerated by readers on blogs and BookTube but I can tell you now, after staying up all night to finish it, this book is stunning.

Karin Slaughter is the current Queen of the crime thriller. You won’t be disappointed when you read something from her, even when you start to unravel the plot and unpick the twists, she’s still in another class compared to the main contemporary thriller writers. This book hits harder than any of her others that I have ever read. The subject matter is beyond what is typically seen in the standard thriller thoroughfare and it is definitely not a book that you would recommend to someone starting out and testing the genre. Without going into spoilers as I think that avoiding these is what lead to me getting completely hooked on the story, this book deals with murder, torture, rape, violence, stalking and sexual assault.

Now for the actual story! Pretty Girls follows two sisters, Claire and Lydia, as they delve into what happened to their other sister, Julia, who went missing when they were teens. After living apart for two decades, the sisters are thrust together in a tale of trauma and creepy FBI agents and it’s a really loving story in the end. Letters from their deceased father are interspersed through the novel and his perspective of them growing up and how Julia is missing out on their lives is a really nice touch that I haven’t seen anywhere else. Although the book has very disturbing scenes and descriptions included, these words from Sam, their father, were what affected me most and made me cry when I put down the book!

I think that this is a truly stunning book from Slaughter. Violence is not used in her work as a sexualisation of female characters, it is not a punchline or a cheap ratchet-up-the-tension tactic. It isn’t for newbies to the genre or someone sensitive to depictions of (possible spoilers here) rape, sexual violence, torture, blood, murder, suicide, stalking, organised crime rings (I’ve never seen a TW for that but it really creeps me out so there you go).

Book Review: When I Find You by Emma Curtis

Last year I got really into thrillers and mysteries and now they’re my go-to genre if I’m just looking for something easy to get into, gripping and suspenseful and WHEN I FIND YOU by Emma Curtis exceeded my expectations completely!

TRIGGER WARNING: RAPE, VIOLENCE, ADULTERY

WHEN I FIND YOU follows a woman with face blindness who doesn’t know who she went home with after her works Christmas party and quickly learns that it is someone who took advantage of her disability and used it to violate her. This is a split perspective narrative with chapters switching between the main character, Laura, and her boss, Rebecca.

Laura tried to figure out who it was that took her home and Rebecca is dealing with her affair with her coworker and friend as well as feelings of guilt towards Laura after making her go to the party despite knowing the extreme distress that parties cause her due to her face blindness.

This story kept me guessing throughout, it wasn’t a book that I could figure out immediately and the pacing and plot was extremely satisfying. I’ll definitely look forward to reading more from Emma Curtis when I get the chance!

Book Review: Thirteen by Steve Cavanagh

 

Thirteen by Steve Cavanagh is a crime/legal thriller that focuses on a murder trial with a split point of view between the prosecuting lawyer and…dun dun dun…the real killer! As you can tell from the book’s tag line, the killer in this case has manipulated his way into sitting on the jury in order to ensure the conviction of the movie star that he has framed for one of his murders.

This is the fourth book in the Eddie Flynn series by Steve Cavanagh but could really be read as a standalone novel, I did this and found that the characters were very well developed and Cavanagh didn’t expect readers to know much about Eddie as he was introduced and developed within the book itself. The crime itself was well constructed and the revelations weren’t rushed or too exaggerated which leads me to my only quibble with the book.

The killer. Kane.

This guy is walking around with a fake nose on like he’s Nicole Kidman playing Virginia Woolf and no one is mentioning it? He’s just getting away with it? Some of the chapters from Kane’s perspective were interesting and contrasted nicely with the court proceedings and legal chapters that we get with Eddie Flynn but at some points he is just such a cartoon villain that it’s hard to take seriously!

Overall I gave this book three stars as it made for an enjoyable read but the ending seemed very outlandish and cartoonish which is sort of expected for thrillers but I didn’t like the way that this one came out.

 

Book Review: The Doctor by Lisa Stone (ARC)

Summary: When Emily goes missing, her husband Ben wants to get to the bottom of her disappearance and suspects that the doctor next door and his strange wife may have something to do with it.

Dr Amit Birman is weird from the get go. Aggressive with his wife in every encounter, it is clear from the start that he’s a bad guy obsessed with freezing his wife’s body after she dies, explicitly against her wishes. That’s a weird thing to want to do. He calls Alisha a ‘silly cow’ and other rude things while she is nervous and the portrayal of their relationship just seemed very unrealistic but as though the author wanted to make it very clear that it was an unhappy and unequal relationship.

Due to this weirdness, I much preferred the chapters from Emily’s perspective. The dialogue and internal monologue/narration by all the characters is a bit stilted and awkward but Emily and Ben’s chapters were the most engaging parts of the story. Dr Burman’s chapters were uncomfortable and tense, as they should be because he’s creepy but they do have the feel of a Bond villain as one chapter ends with “Just you wait and see” – like a villain…

Stone does tension well. Early on in the book, a cat goes missing and I was tense…because of a fictional cat…anyway, what I mean is that Stone quickly gets you hooked in and you want to know what’s going to happen with all the characters, even a cat that’s only been mentioned a couple of times! I had to finish this whole thing in one go, the plot was just crazy and very fast paced so I didn’t want to put it down.

Since I don’t want to give any spoilers or give the story away, I’ll leave my review here. I do think that the story is interesting but it isn’t a Girl on the Train level crime/mystery. I’d recommend it to people interested in crime novels and thrillers who want something easy to read that isn’t too intense.

I received a copy of this novel from the publisher via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review, thank you AVON, HarperCollins.

Release date: 25th July 2019

Warnings: domestic abuse, child abuse, murder, animal abuse, descriptions of surgery/medical procedures.

You can find my social media @beccaggray on Twitter and Instagram, I also have my bookstagram @booksforbecca if you want to see any of my bookish posts. Thank you for reading!!

May Reading Wrap Up! This

May was a really good reading month for me, I was mostly happy with the books that I read and managed to get through a fair few of them too.

1. Penhallow by Georgette Heyer

I have previously discussed my love of Pride and Prejudice on this blog and many people have recommended Georgette Heyer’s books to me as the Regency setting is quite similar and involves a lot of society-type things and I can get really into who is related to who and what title is where and I love it. Penhallow is about a grumpy old man who is horrible and everyone hates him then oh my word he ends up dead and oh my goodness it was a murder. Gotta solve it. It was quite good so I’ll likely pick up another of Heyer’s books, she wrote quite a lot so there’s a lot of choice!

2. Cut To The Bone by Alex Caan

A whodunnit for the modern Youtube era. Very well done and I really enjoyed it, my friend has recommended the second book in this series as the detective characters develop quite nicely there so I’ll be reading that soon(ish). I also did a full review if you want to find out more you can read it here.

3. How To Come Alive by Beth McColl

I’m realising now that this month was when I started doing a lot of individual reviews so I’ve sort of run out of things to write in a Wrap Up…EXCEPT THAT THIS BOOK IS BRILLIANT. Truly a wonderful book that I’d recommend to anyone struggling to manage with mental health issues as she gives no nonsense advice on the realities of life carrying on while you’re in a fog of depression and also has guidance and templates for speaking to GPs, managers and friends. Full review is here.

4. The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller

Blasphemy maybe, but I wasn’t blown away by this book. Yes, it was lovely to read. I much prefer Circe or The Silence of the Girls by Pat Barker. Full review here.

5. The Vegetarian by Han Kang

I’ll link my review here but I’ll also tell you now, I didn’t like this book.

6. The Man in the Next Bed by David K Shipley

Ok but a short story so lacks the opportunity to be more interesting, quite surface level and a bit boring. Full review here.

7. The Doctor by Lisa Stone

A bonkers crime thriller, twists and turns and a lot of WTF? This book was an ARC so a full review will be posted nearer publication 25th July 2019.

8. Frat Girl by Kiley Roache

I had fun reading this and couldn’t put it down! A girl is granted a scholarship based on a research project she’ll complete by joining a fraternity accused of misogynistic behaviour and exposing the Greek system but she makes some friends and it’s such a cute story with a nice feminist message along with a heavy dose of girl hate (sounds weird but you’ll see what I mean).

9. A Serial Killer’s Daughter by Kerri Rawson

Mixed emotions about this one. I admire the strength it took to write such a difficult book about a loved one but it wasn’t a very enjoyable or interesting read. A true crime memoir from the point of view of BTK’s daughter, this was an odd read.

10. The Killing Lessons by Saul Black

This is a thriller splitting perspectives between two serial killers/rapists, a ten year old girl that escaped them during a home invasion and the police detective after these men. This was interesting but at some point I got lost with the story and it just wasn’t holding my attention, the depiction of sexual violence was just too much and unnecessary in my opinion and you can definitely tell it was written by a man (Bret Easton Ellis vibes during those parts). I don’t think I’m particularly bothered about picking up the next book in this series, only to find out what happens with the lead detective and the other woman that hacked her medical files and somehow that was just glossed over like that’s not illegal???

11. Develop Your Assertiveness by Sue Bishop

I just had my appraisal last week and one of my development objectives is to be pushier. Hopefully these lessons will rub off on me and I’ll be pushy as anything and not apologise for everything ten times over.

And that’s it for May! Quite a good month for me (reading-wise), how did you get on this month?

You can find my social media @beccaggray on Twitter and Instagram, I also have my bookstagram @booksforbecca if you want to see any of my bookish posts. Thank you for reading!!

Book Review: A Serial Killer’s Daughter by Kerri Rawson (ARC)

A Serial Killer’s Daughter is a non-fiction release from Kerri Rawson about her life and the discovery that her father was actually the serial killer known as B.T.K.

This book was a strange read. I’m familiar with crime dramas, documentaries and podcasts but still new to true crime reading. I was interested to see how the viewpoint of a daughter or family member would present the events that I’ve heard quite a few times from different sources.

Rawson’s book straddles the line between a religious testimony and a true crime book which, as a non religious person, I found quite boring and hard to stay focused on. Most chapters start with a quote from the bible and there are many references to church visits, events and lengthy passages about the comfort that her faith provided during this time. If you are religious or interested in religion, this may be alright but reading a letter from Rader stating that he has found forgiveness from God, I couldn’t stand this part. He deserves no forgiveness from anyone, his belief that God would pardon his actions is absurd. As his daughter, Rawson finds it hard to read or listen to the details and so this is not covered in the book, victims names are included as well as there is an understanding that she is also a victim of her fathers crimes. There are also letters between the father and daughter and at one point, he asks her to find and destroy evidence.

“Dad’s blatant criminality and narcissism just reared it’s ugly, dark head. Like he flipped off the light switch and let himself really be seen by those he left living for one of the first times. Thirty one years. Ten murdered.”

This is one of the moments that show the writer that she really could distance herself from her father, though it takes her becoming pregnant to finally pull away completely from him. It’s an interesting book but overall not too engaging unless you are specifically into memoirs. I’m expecting Ann Rule’s The Stranger Beside Me to have the same kind of excuse-driven narrative for part of the book.

This book was provided to me by the publisher, via Netgalley, in exchange for an honest review.

You can find my social media @beccaggray on Twitter and Instagram, I also have my bookstagram @booksforbecca if you want to see any of my bookish posts. Thank you for reading!!

True Crime Podcasts

Because I’m morbid and scared of everything, I listen to true crime podcasts and get too scared to leave my house (or stay in my house). I know that recently there’s been a pushback against these podcasts, especially comedy podcasts possibly because it can be seen as trivialising horrible things so if you’re not a fan then this post isn’t for you. If you’re interested in true crime and want some recommendations or are a fan of some others then let me know if you love these or have one you’d like to share then please let me know!

1. My Favourite Murder

This was the first crime podcast that I listened to so it is my favourite by default. Karen Kilagariff and Georgia Hardstark present a case every week to each other as well as minisodes with listeners hometown murders. They’re so funny and so nice, very open with listeners about their lives (not so open that it’s weird, they’re crime ladies so they know about privacy) while talking about awful things. Also this gif is from Georgia’s Drunk History episode about the Circleville Letters which is just weird and the podcast ep about it is weird – some crimes are just weird.

Episode recs: 158 Burn Day (3 Billboards), 130 Mike is Right (the West’s and the Romanovs), 18 Investigateen Discovery (Mary Vincent’s survival).

2. Last Podcast on the Left

I spent a few episodes of this podcast unsure about how I felt and my friend had the same experience when she started listening. These guys (Marcus Parks, Henry Zebrowski and Ben Kissel) go hard on humour and details. Details. Sometimes way too many details and I’m sat at my desk with one earbud in just stating into the middle distance not getting any work done just focusing on not fainting (Dahmer episode, had to change to Wonderful for a break). They do alert you that it’s ‘heading into Gold Star territory’ which is code for ‘this is disgusting and if you listen to it you get a gold star because you’re messed up’.

Episode recs: HH Holmes, Joseph Mengele (I started on a conspiracy spiral after hearing about the rat lines now I’m just constantly mad), Carl Panzram and I’m currently listening to the Toybox Killer which I might have to stop.

3. Jensen and Holes: The Murder Squad

Not a comedy! Started on MFM’s podcast network, Exactly Right, this is a new podcast with only a few episodes but it’s Billy Jensen and Paul Holes who are just amazing. Paul Holes is a retired investigator who has appeared on many podcasts and documentaries, Billy Jensen is a crime journalist who helped finish Michelle McNamara’s I’ll Be Gone In the Dark – they’re professional and sensitive.

Episode recs: The Golden State Killer – Paul was part of Michelle’s book AND part of the investigation when they caught and arrested him, his story of that night is great to listen to. They also speak to a woman who may have been a victim of GSK but the DNA evidence has been destroyed.

4. Casefile

Not a comedy! This is another details podcast but with no levity, it can be very hard to listen to and there are more episodes of this that I have abandoned. The episode descriptions are mysterious too so unless the title is clear then it’s impossible to find a specific story.

Episode recs: 108: The Kicevo Monster

5. Criminal

I’m Phoebe Judge, and this is Criminal.

Not always murders, Judge covers many interesting and weird crimes on this show and it’s just interesting. This one isn’t scary or unnerving.

Episode recs: 4: Call Your Mom (mother daughter investigator interview – YES)

That’s all I’ve got for now! My main goal for this post was actually to ask for your recommendations! I’ll probably do another of these at some point but these are my top favourites, please let me know if you have any more I should listen to 🙂

You can find my social media @beccaggray on Twitter and Instagram, I also have my bookstagram @bookstagrambecca if you want to see any of my bookish posts. Thank you for reading!!

Book Review: Cut To The Bone by Alex Caan

Summary: A popular Youtuber goes missing and a few hours later, a video of her being chased through the woods is uploaded to the website. London detectives are tasked with trying to find Ruby and bring her home safely, as well as determine who is involved with her disappearance – Gamer Youtuber boyfriend, vlogger ex, management or one of her 2 million subscribers.

THIS IS A VERY GOOD BOOK! This review will contain spoilers but I’ll keep it to a minimum!

I’m writing this review as I wait for painkillers to set in after a long day at work where this audiobook saved me from falling asleep at my desk. I hadn’t heard of this author or book/series before when I saw it on my library app but the premise sounded interesting so I thought I would give it a try. I honestly loved it.

Detective Inspector Kate Riley and Detective Sergeant Zain Harris lead an investigation into Ruby’s disappearance and try to uncover what she could have possibly found out that would provoke someone to take possibly homicidal actions to silence her. These were great characters, very good to read and as this appears to be the first in a series, I expect that what is in this book will be built upon very well.

The plot and pacing feels very similar to a Paula Hawkins novel, the story isn’t overworked or cliched. The YouTube world is one that I haven’t seen in any other books (unless an actual Youtuber has delved into crime fiction) like this and it was really interesting to see it from a police perspective. I watch a lot of YouTube and have for many years, one thing that I did suspect when it was mentioned that the ex-boyfriend was no longer on the platform but had been popular a few years ago was his reveal as a paedophile. Due to the repeated sexual abuse scandals that have happened with various Youtuber grooming their fans, it was easy to see this as a possible outcome for at least one of the characters. I remember watching a livestream on another channel when allegations against one Youtuber came out (like 5 mins into the stream), to which all three Youtubers on the stream acknowledged that yes he was vile and had done other things with his fame/power over fans. Without previous knowledge of sexual predators on the platform though, this wouldn’t be obvious to readers. If my mother was to read this, I think she would try to ground me for having a YouTube channel as a teenager/preteen.

One thing that is annoying: they play fast and loose with court orders and warrants. Rifling through people’s purses and rummaging through things to find vital evidence which will be annoying when it gets to court and it’s inadmissible because it was unlawfully obtained. That’s all.

I really enjoyed this book and my headache has almost gone now so it has served its purpose. I hope to read more books in this series as these detectives were interesting (with backstories that BEG to be explored) and hope to do it soon, even if there’s only 1 more out at the moment!

You can find my social media @beccaggray on Twitter and Instagram, I also have my bookstagram @bookstagrambecca if you want to see any of my bookish posts. Thank you for reading!!

March Reading Wrap Up!

This month I’ve been ok, depressed af, my flat nearly flooded (cellar did which is great because now I have pipe issues), got stressed at work, got unstressed at work, went on holiday to Disneyland Paris, came back to a mountain of work and home-work in the form of chores I will never complete and decided that I need to change my life drastically and apply for a bunch of jobs that start in 2 years and involve me retraining completely.

I also read a bunch of books in March! Let’s have a chat!

1. Mansfield Park by Jane Austen

This was an audiobook read while I was at work that I enjoyed. As much as I love Pride and Prejudice (which you’ll see later in this post), I haven’t read much else from Jane Austen and I want to change that this year.

Mansfield Park had some of the same cute vibes of P&P with a bit of Cinderella thrown in as well. I thought the ending came together quite quickly which made it a bit less enjoyable but ultimately, it’s a cute period romance so I got what I expected.

2. Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan

This was a big buzzy book that I’ve wanted to read for a while, especially when the film came out and looked stunning! I finally got round to it at the beginning of March and it is so worth reading, I’m sad that I waited this long. Rachel goes to Singapore with her boyfriend Nick to attend his best friend’s wedding and meet the family and …everyone is just…awful? Not everyone, I got very invested in Astrid’s relationship with her husband and her storyline was so good it kind of eclipsed the main plot a couple of times. I do want to continue the series but I read it on my library app which has book one and three but not two for some reason?

3. Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

Yes, I actually managed to finish the final few pages of this after I got back from Paris and I loved it! I picked up Crooked Kingdom a bit ago when I knew I liked the story and wanted to continue with it. I haven’t read many heist books (I know there’s one but I can’t remember it right now) so it was really interesting how the final chapters tied up the end of the job – there are some monologue-y bits but it’s a YA fantasy with an antagonist so what can I expect?

4. Final Girls by Riley Sager

Omg if you want a monologue/villain scene then this is for you. This is a crime-thriller focused on women that have been victim to massacres and survived by killing the murderer, much like a Final Girl in a horror movie. This has twists and turns and was SO GOOD, I really want to read more of her work because they seem quite horror movie inspired rather than mystery novel if that makes sense? She has another about a woman returning to Camp Nightingale fifteen years after a girl disappeared which seems interesting.

Final Girls was fantastic and Quincy’s memories and relationships are really well explored and the twists/reveals weren’t ever what I expected although I did keep trying to guess.

5. The Bear and The Nightingale by Katherine Arden

I had this on my TBR and my Kindle for years and when my friend and I were looking for literary events (productive lunchtime breaks I know) we found that Katherine Arden was coming to Waterstones in Leeds this month. Jess was also interested in reading them and every day at work I get her reactions to what she’s read as well as her mocking me for being behind her in out buddy read.

I’ve been enjoying this series though (despite Jess’s teasing!) and although the first book (and second which I’m now experiencing) have quite slow starts, the story picks up very nicely and I’m really interested to see where the series goes and Vasya’s relationships with her family and certain demons. I will say, disappointed that there aren’t more bears in this. That’s all.

6. The Vampyre by John Polidori

The original sophisticated vampire story. Unfortunately, it’s not very good. Sorry.

7. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

I’ve had a bad month this month. Mentally exhausted and physically drained. I needed to watch the 2005 adaptation three times and I listened to this audiobook while at work because I NEEDED IT. Loved it as always, thank you Jane.

8. The Life Plan by Shannah Kennedy

I loved this and felt so inspired by it so I hope this has had a lasting effect. I wrote a full review which you can read here. I thoroughly recommend this book to anyone wanting to move forward if you’re feeling a bit stuck.

9. Howards End by E.M. Forster

You can find my social media @beccaggray on Twitter and Instagram, I also have my bookstagram @bookstagrambecca if you want to see any of my bookish posts. Thank you for reading!!