I think I hate Classics, as a concept.

Many of us have the desire to be ‘well read’. It’s a desire to be – or seem to be – more intellectual by having read a lot of books. But is it the amount of books that you read or the quality? Is the quality less important than their popularity? What does it actually mean to be ‘well read’?

There’s a certain amount of book snobbery that feeds into this topic. One of my favourite Youtubers, Choncey Boddington has a video on canon snobbery (which you can find here) which is just wonderful and I agree with so much if it. Considering yourself ‘well read’ because you read only the classics seems absurd to me. Not that I don’t have love for the classics, Pride and Prejudice will always be a favourite of mine, but the majority of the literary canon was written by rich white men. There is a distinct lack of diversity in the British literary canon which makes me wonder why novels that so often have the same characters in a similar situation are, to some people, the be all and end all of acceptable and worthy literature.

To quote the classical Mr Darcy, minds must be improved “by extensive” reading, not reading the same, narrow selection of popular novels (can I also note the part where Miss Bingley, in an effort to impress Mr Darcy, picks up the second volume of what he is reading, having not read the first, and questions him about it. Miss Bingley is an example of those that want to seem superior through reading choices while having no appreciation for actual literature). Now that we live in an age where reading is not something left solely to the upper classes and we have access to a wide range of genres, why do some people look down on others for not having read the classics? In my first term of university, we read a lot of classics and sweet. mother. of. God. They were the worst. Just because it’s a classic doesn’t mean it’s good. Robinson Crusoe is a classic, considered to be the first novel and I was three pages in and I all I could think was ‘WHITE PEOPLE ARE THE WORST! Oh my God, we’re the worst. No wonder everyone hates us.’ Which is not surprising really, given the time in which it was written.

That goes on to my main issue with classics, which is what is absent from them. [This is the kind of boring stuff that a degree in English Literature gets you.] When you read that Mr Darcy earns £10,000 a year, you don’t question where that money came from. You don’t question how Pemberley was built, or what Pemberley may have been based on – apparently Chatsworth House, an estate built with money earned from the colonisation of Bermuda and Virginia, colonisation is frowned upon nowadays as it involves killing and oppressing people, we don’t do it now that we can’t force Pocahontas to marry a white man and change her name to Rebecca (which I’m sure she loved). Just as when you read North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell, you don’t wonder who’s picking the cotton supplied to Marlborough Mills. Human ugliness is erased from many of the classics because readers don’t want to think about massacres in the colonies or the products of slavery in their homes.

So when I say that I think I hate classics, I don’t mean that they aren’t good and that they’re not worth reading. I mean I don’t like that people attach some kind of intellectual superiority to a group of books. Assigning higher value to classics seems pointless to me, I’ve had the same reaction to modern classics that I’ve had to books published in the last year. Literature is meant to be experienced and enjoyed, deeming some novels ‘classics’ or ‘modern classics’ seems arbitrary. They’re popular. That’s what you mean. You don’t have to stick all of the popular books together in a corner of Waterstones, where Thomas Hardy might sit right next to Aldous Huxley like they are in any way related to each other. ‘Classic’ isn’t a genre, it’s an indication of popularity and I’m tired of people being ‘intimidated by classics’, we should be able to judge books for ourselves, not what publishers decide are ‘classic’ enough to brand as such.

My Slump TBR

I’m in a weird reading slump.

It’s weird because I’ve gone through year long slumps before, or longer, definite slumps where I forget that the written word even exists, but this isn’t like those slumps.

I’m in a finishing slump.

I have started 5 books and not reached the end. Three of them I started in the same week! So this week I’m challenging myself to finish them. Or at least one of them. I use Goodreads to track my reading and act as a bookmark if I can’t find one and the percentages are taunting me.

So here are the books that are taunting me with their presence right now:

  • The History of Bees – Maja Lunde – I mentioned this in a post a while ago. Still unfinished.
  • Classic Scrapes – James Acaster – I love this. I love him. Maybe I don’t want it to end?
  • Thirteen – Steve Cavanagh – I just needed some good old fashioned crime so I started this one.
  • Notes on a Nervous Planet – Matt Haig – I went to a reading/q&a with Matt Haig for this book and I loved it, started reading it on the train ride home, not finished.
  • Death Comes to Pemberley – PD James – I bought this in a charity shop because my boyfriend was hungover and needed a nap and I needed to occupy my time with something and I enjoy P&P fanfiction most of the time anyway so I really enjoyed this. Not enough to finish it though (in fairness that was only Saturday).

Have you read any of these? What should my plan of attack be? Is it best to just pick the book up and start reading until I can’t stop?

Bridging The Gap

“Trick or treat!”

George looked down at the smiling little girl, as he answered the door. He remembered when Libby was this small, though he had never got to have a Halloween like this with her.

“Well hello there, Alice! I’ve got some-”

“I’m not Alice, I’m Rosie,” she interrupted with a confused pout.

“Um…your…” he looked at her blue dress and white apron, then back to her puzzled expression.

“He means your costume, Rose,” came an amused voice from behind her. George looked above Rose to see a woman holding another child, a little boy who, according to the giant pocket watch that he was chewing on and the bunny ears, was the March Hare.

“Oh! I forgot, that was silly,” Rose giggled. She turned and moved closer to the woman. “Mummy? How come-”

“Rose,” her mother interrupted. “Don’t ignore the nice man…” she trailed off and shot an apologetic and exasperated smile at George.

“Oh!” Rose squeaked and rushed back to the door. “I’m sorry sir! Trick or treat!”

George chuckled and crouched down to hold the bowl of candy out to the little girl who thought hard about her choice before selecting a red lollipop and putting it in her plastic pumpkin basket.

“You sure that’s all you want? Most of the trick or treat-ers came here earlier, so I’ll have all this leftover…” he winced as if the thought pained him.

Rose bit her lip again and pulled out a blue lollipop and looked back up at his face.

“Grandad says we shouldn’t eat too much sugar,” she told him quietly. “Or else he’ll have to give us pretend ones and I’ve seen Great-Grandma Beth’s and she puts hers in a glass at night and that’s yucky.”

George laughed and stood up, putting the bowl down on the entry table as the child continued to talk about teeth.

“And Robby’s just getting his teeth so he can’t have too much, or else they’ll-”

“Rose, please! I’m sorry, we should be getting home now, this is our last stop.”

“So you live close by?” George asked.

She nodded, “Yes, we just moved here last week, our house is just around the corner.”

“Right,” he nodded. “The old Butler house. That’s been empty for years, I heard someone moved in but I’ve been busy at work all week. You’ve escaped the town gossips so far,” he smiled.

She chuckled and adjusted the boy on her hip, “Yes, thankfully. With all of the work that needed doing around the house it’s been a no-go-zone, I think that all the construction is keeping people away for now. We just needed to get away from it all today so we’ve been exploring while we trick or treat.”

“I know it’s a small town but it’s easy to get lost. If you need any help, just ask, even down at the station. Like I said, it’s a small town and it’s quiet, so there’s always someone there that can help.”

“The station?” she asked, a confused pout appeared that matched her daughter’s.

“Oh right, sorry! I mean the police station, it’s right in the centre of town. I’m the Captain, George Devin” he introduced himself and held out his hand.

“Arden Wainwright,” she told him, as she shook his hand. “This is Robby and of course you’ve met Rose-”

The little girl bounced slightly as she waved excitedly, “Hi!”

“We’d really better be going, this one’s ready for bed,” she nodded to a sleepy Hugo. “It was nice to meet you Mr Devin.”

“Please, call me George,” he smiled.

Arden smiled, “Alright, goodbye George. Say goodnight Rosie…”

“G’night Mr George!” she waved.

He waved back and watched as the three of them walked down the garden path. He shut the door and let himself think of Libby. What time was it in Little Rock? Was it too late to call?

When she answered the phone, it was bittersweet. He was happy just to hear her voice, mad at himself that they didn’t talk more, so thankful that she wanted to speak to him too.

It didn’t hurt like he thought it would, when she gently told him that Mallory was seeing someone, and that it seemed serious this time. He wondered when that had happened. When did he stop remembering the day he came home so see Libby in her car seat, suitcases and boxes in the back? When did he first stop in his tracks just missing his daughter, and not his family?

The next day seemed brighter. He powered through the backlog of paperwork that he had put off, energised by Libby’s promise to come and visit him that summer. He hadn’t been exaggerating when he had told the new woman, Arden, that it was quiet at the station. It was only just past noon when he finished the last report and leaned back in his chair, half wishing someone would call, yet half hoping no one would.

Deciding to go out for lunch, he picked up his jacket and headed out. He opened the door and stepped out, only to bump into someone about to enter the station.

“Oh, it’s you,” someone said.

George looked down to see Arden smiling up at him with Robby by her side, fiddling with the strap of her purse as she waited for a response.

“Ms Wainwright, hi,” he smiled. “Robby,” he added.

“Hello George,” she greeted. Her accent crept in as she spoke, a Southern twang standing out where he hadn’t noticed it last night. “I was just coming to see if you-someone, if someone could tell me where the dance school is,” she said. “Rose is at her first day of school so I thought we’d come and check it out before we sign her up. You’re probably busy, I’m sure we can find-“ he reached out to stop her as she turned to move away.

“No no, it’s fine. I was just about to get lunch; it really is quiet around here,” he laughed. “You looking for Miss Penny’s?” she nodded. “Well I’m heading out that way, so I can take you there right now.”

“It won’t be any trouble?” she asked, picking up Robby.

“No trouble at all,” he shut the door behind him and walked out, gesturing for her to follow. He smiled, somewhat shyly now, “I can even show you the finest cuisine that Brookfield has to offer, if you have the time?”

Writing: Extra Parts

A sound at the door,

Not a knock, but a thud.

Captain Kidd threw it open,

Then he froze where he stood.

On the step, a small bundle,

With inky black hair.

He set eyes on its’ legs

And knew who’d left it there.

When she smiled, he was lost,

Wrapped right round her tentacle.

William Kidd was a Dad now,

And he caused quite the spectacle.

With an influx of advice,

From nearly all local mothers,

He raised her, adored her,

And kept her legs covered.

Word spread through the town

Of his softened demeanour.

Since his daughter arrived,

The ex-pirate was sweeter.

She soon learned she was different,

Wasn’t quite like the rest.

She’d climb walls with her suckers,

“Keep it quiet, that’s best.”

With her long skirt and boots,

She went outside and walked.

But she slipped on some ice,

Someone saw, and they talked.

You know, kids can be cruel

If they find something odd.

Seems they’re downright sadistic

To cephalopods.

She refused to hide out,

She’s as tough as can be!

Uncle John fixed his hook on,

Smirked, “Leave ‘em to me.”

But it’s lonely at school,

Children laugh and they grin.

Sarah Kidd, some parts squid?

Well, she’ll never fit in.

So she goes on alone,

‘Til she spies in the copse

Outside of her house,

There’s a girl who’s half fox.

With her ears and the tail,

It’s too hard not to show.

The Kidd’s welcome this little kit

In from the snow.

Things get better for both,

As it’s hard on your own.

Maisie Knox, some parts fox,

Found a place in their home.